I will always love you
by Ashley Terror
Summary: AH. Bella and Edward are engaged, and jasper is lonely so he comes to stay with them. jasper tells bella his true feelings for her, and she thinks they would be better off without her. Hospitals, padded cells, houses in the woods.Sequel is up!Our new life
1. srry no caps it gets better! 1propasal

**omg!~ its a story about mike, Ben, Angela, Bella,mike, Alice and Edward! its going to be really good i promise. read and review! all human, oh, and Alice and Jasper are not dating. hes just in the family. adopted. but rose and Emmett are, of course. pairings are: Alice and mike, Bella and Edward, Ben and Angela,Rosalie and Emmett, and jasper and Jessica.**

"so, long dress or short?" Alice asked as i emerged from the dressing room.

"jeans?" i tried. Angela came up behind me.

"oh, Bella. you know Alice will not let you go in jeans. i tried. short dress looks better, though." she zipped into the dressing room.

"short."i grumbled" but what about you? you and mike have a _date_ tonight." i teased.

" uhhgh! its not a date its a well friend thing and you and Angela asked me to go! and mike was my first choice..." she trailed off. "oh! what about you and Edward? its been getting pretty serious as he lets on!" she smiled. Angela walked out. " Bella! tell us!" she squealed.

"okay okay! well, we haven't _done _anything big yet. he just stays over allot, you know." i smiled.

" OH WHAT EVER! YOU KNOW YOU SCREWED HIM!" Alice yelled in my ear. Angela raised an eyebrow.

" no. i. did. not." i said firmly.

" but you want to." Angela ans Alice went into a giggling fit.

"shut up." i went back into the dressing room. " why do they make the mirrors to show _every_ flaw?" i grumbled.

"oh, come on. you hardly have any flaws." Angela murmured, looking at her legs.

" neither do you." i stated.

" i don't have any!" Alice chirped.

"we know we know." me and Angela said in unison. my phone rang. i looked at the caller ID. Edward!

" hello?" i whispered, ducking out of the store leaving my dress for Alice to pay for. the Cullens' are rich. Carslile, their dad, is a head doctor at the hospital. they have all the money they need. Edward even has a Volvo!

"hey baby. listen instead of _shopping_ do you want to go to the beach?" he hates shopping more than i do.

"um, okay. are you coming to pick me up then? cause the trucks at home and- oh" i saw the Volvo around the corner. " 'bye." he pulled up and i got in. "il text Angela's phone and tell her I'm leaving."

"already done, Bella." he grinned. he took a sharp corner at very surprising speed. "so, la push or our spot?" he asked. i considered LA Push, but then again our spot was very secret.

"hm mm, our spot sounds lovely." i grinned. i hoped that we could talk. I'd been meaning to talk to him about some things.... like the fact we had been dating a year, for one. and another, we graduate in 2 weeks. Edward looked up.

"you look beautiful today." he flashed his perfect teeth, his green eyes glinting. i wonder whats he so happy about?

"thanks. you look handsome, Edward." i smiled." whats got you in such a great mood today?" i asked, shifting around in the seat, trying to find the niche i had created in the past year. he grinned.

"trying to find your little niche?" he teased." oh, no reason, just happy to be with you. you know, graduation is only in two weeks, and Carslile said he was going to buy me Alice and Jasper a house. but i have no intentionsof living alone." he looked at me, biting his lip waiting for my reaction.

" Edward Cullen? are you saying you want me to live with you?" he nodded, his lip almost to the point of bleeding." of course!" i shrieked. he jumped, and started pulling off the road down to the dirt road to our spot. he pulled into the parking space we had fashioned over the course of a year. i got out, stretching.

"nice day." i commented as we started down the trail, his arm protectively around my waist. we were nearly where we were supposed to turn off the main trail, and, he picked me up.

"don't want you to fall." he teased. i smiled, remembering last time when we had came down here. i tripped on a root and scrapedmy palms up. he was faintly smiling, so i guess he was remembering the same thing. he sat me down, and i turned around so i was pressed to him. i pulled my face closer. he leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. i opened my mouth, letting his sweet scent fill my it. it was over to soon. he adjusted me so i was beside him with his arm back around my waist.

we came to the little fallen tree we had talked on so many sat me down, sitting on his legs on the ground beside me.

"Isabella Marie Swan, would you like to be Isabella Marie Swan _Cullen_?" he asked. my mouth fell into an open O.

"of-of course." i stammered. he grinned, lifting me up.

"Carslile already bought the house." he lead me down a trail and around a bend we had not explored yet. there was the most beautiful little house i had ever seen. it was so _Edward._ everything about it screamed Edward.

'its perfect, Edward. absolutely perfect." i gasped. he pulled two keys out of his pocket, one that had a B on it in a curly script. the other had an E in the same script. the keys were even beautiful. he put mine in my hand, along with a little velvet box. it felt like fire in my hand for a second. i opened the box.

"oh." i gasped. it was the most beautiful ring ever. the diamond was so perfect. i felt an inscription. i turned it over.

_Bella, the love of my life and my personal brand of heroin_.

i smiled. he looked down. "ready to go in?" he asked. " the house is even more beautiful inside."


	2. srry no caps it gets better! 2 ily

i was crying. uncontrollably. it was so beautiful. Edward was holding me, whispering comforting words every now and again. i knew he was crying, because i could feel his chest heaving.i turned in his arms. " Edward? I'm sorry. i love you." i whispered.

"Bella,love, what do you think you did? its my fault, all of this is too much for one day." he sighed, kissing me with such force it was almost scary. his [phone rang. "sorry, Bella. its jasper." he looked down.

"hello?' he all but hissed into the phone after he heard it _wasn't_ jasper. i could hear a muted response. _Edward, where are you? carslile said you were moving out? why? where?_ it was Alice's voice._ is Bella with you?_"yes she is." he snapped and hung up. "sorry." he muttered. hid lips automatically found mine. " i cant believe she would use his phone like that.. hes been depressed allot lately and said if....he ever needed to..... talk to someone to call me....... and no matter what i would try to help....." he kept having to pause to kiss me.

"oh..... Edward.... I'm..... sorry whats...... wrong with him?" talking and kissing is very hard. " Jessica is in love with him and he doesn't really have feelings towards her at all."

"oh, poor Jessica. so hes breaking up with her then?' i asked hesitantly.

"no, hes really troubled and Alice doesn't even care, Emmett nor Rosalie either."

"oh."

"he cant really stay anymore." no! jasper was like a brother to me! as much, if not more, than Emmett!

"we had room! he can stay here fore awhile right?"i blurted out. Edward smiled.

"really? that's okay with you?" i nodded." thanks Bella! you have no idea what this means to the whole family!"

" i love him just like a big brother, Edward. i would do anything to help him."i said truthfully. he texted the news to Jasper.

"now, where were we?" he whispered, leaning his lips centimeters from mine. my breath caught, coming in jagged gasps. so this is what i feels like to hyperventilate,i thought.

"Bells, breath." he whispered, trying to keep his ownbreathing steady." is this too much? i can back off for awhile, let you breath." i considered having hm away, and shuddered at the thought. i adjustedmyself to where i was laying with my head on his chest, our bodies entwined. my breath started coming more regular, and his did to. my face was dried, tears stopped with this news from jasper. Edward sat up, lifting me till i was sitting cross legged across from him.

"Bella?"

"Edward?"

"i love you."

" i know, Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, you are my entire life and i will always love you."


	3. caps next! Jasper says WHAT?

Jasper's here. hes really creeping me out. he just sit there staring at the wall like he could see through it. Edward grabbed my hand. "Bella, I'm going out, okay? ill be back as soon as a i can." he kissed my head at left. i heard the front door click shut.

"Jasper?" he turned, looking as if he forgot i was there.

"yes, Bella?"he looked at me strangely, like i had no reason to speak to him that he knew of.

"uh." i had to think. he was so dazzling. "oh, um i wanted to say if you ever needed anything im here. your almost official sister." i smiled.

"_almost official!_" he gaffed."Edward proposed?" his eyes were wide.

"uh, yeah. today, actually. and before that he asked me to live with him." i smiled.

"oh, that's err nice." he rubbed his neck. " but if i ever need to talk, ill remember your offer." he flashed me a brief smile and ducked into his room. i heard the Volvo's door slam and Edwards heavy footsteps on the porch.

"Bella?" i heard my name from behind and across from me, from velvet and a country accent. "yes?" i answered both of them. Edward called out first, he was just back in to tell me he was going to chop wood for the stove, and to send jasper when i could. i said okay.

"uh, i was wondering if i could talk with you about some things, like how to make a crazy psychopath stop stalking you." he had a reproachful smile, trying to break the ice between us. there had always been something stopping us from talking, some unknown force.

"uh, who? Jessica? or is Lauren taken to stalking you now that the Cullen's don't scare people." i smiled. "or the Hales." i added quickly. he grinned.

"both, but i don't like either of them in the least."he flashed me a small smile, and something in my brain clicked.

"oh, Jasper. i didn't know!"

"S'Kay. no problem, really Bella." jasper said quickly.

"jasper i do like you, but i love Edward. you understand though, right?" i pleaded silently for him not to hate me.

"Course, Bells. just remember, no matter what, i saw you and loved you first." he kissed my hair and left, most likely going to help Edward. i stood up and clumsily walked into the bath room, locking the door behind me. i started hyperventilating immediately, curling into a ball on the floor. i wrapped my arms around my torso, as if holding it together. my breath slowly started coming evenly again, to my relief. jasper said he saw and loved me first. but Edward spoke first. i love Edward, but Ive always felt something for Jasper. but Edward proposed...... but jasper was so shocked, i guess he thought Edward wouldn't do that.... so did he really love me? is that why he was so depressed? because of _me?_ i ruined every ones lives. it would be better if i didn't exist at all. maybe the only way out was for me to die.......


	4. srry shortness death or life?

i took out a piece of paper and a pen, careful not to be loud. my hands were not shaking like they should be. i was about to die, and i was calm. maybe it was because i know it it make Edward and Jasper's lives better. that must be it.

_Dear Edward Jasper and the rest of my unofficial family,  
I am so sorry about all the pain i have caused in the past year. I am truly sorry for this, Alice, but it was for the best. i can not bear to see Edward and Jaspers hearts breaking any longer. I am sorry how this ended. i will always love you, don't forget that . i love you Edward. -Bella Swan _

my breath caught as a read the letter again. yet no tears. its for the best. my death would be for the best.

"BELLA! NO!" Jasper screamed. he dropped the note and grabbed both my hands. "...no! you are not allowed to kill yourself! i won't let you!" he sobbed. I pulled away, sinking to the ground. I didn't look up. The door slammed and I heard paper rustling and Jasper running over to Edward. They talked for what seemed like hours, but I'm sure it was only seconds. Edward ran over to where I was. I'm pretty surehe was talking, but I was dizzy. I felt myself falling over, and I had to say something. The drugs were kicking in.

"Edward? Jasper? I'm sorry. I will always love you, don't either of you ever forget that." And then came the peaceful sleep.

**a/n, so? do you like it? review on wether you want her to be dead or not.**


	5. a HOSPITAL? and what room? noooooooooooo

_Pain, without love._ It was raining_._

_Pain, cant get enough._ He told her he was sorry,

_Pain, like it rough._ And would die loving her

_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all!_ but it wasn't right,

_your sick of feeling low,_ and he was sorry_._

_your not the only one,_ he said he loved her

_I'll take you by the hand,_ but to move on

_when the lights go out you'll understand,_ she'll understand later.

And then I woke up screaming. I opened my eyes. Edward, Jasper, Angela and Alice peering at me. Carlisle was over writing things on a tablet.  
I groaned. "I'm in a _hospital_?" No one answered. "Edward?" He had a very worn piece of paper in his hands, and he leaned back and Jasper took it, reading it over and over. I felt like I was about to pass out. Edward looked like he finally heard me and ran over. "What is it?" He sounded tired, his green eyes had deep yellow bags under his eyes. His normally perfect hair was dead looking. "Get some sleep." I did my attempt at a smile. "Bella." He whispered. "Edward, the best thing for you to do is sleep. Listen to her." Carlisle motioned to the other bed in the room."Sleep." As soon as he said that he glanced at me. "You as well. Try to sleep. It's best." Jasper started to complain but I was asleep in seconds.

_Over and over ,_She watched him die slowly,

_Over and over,_ painfully. Nothing she could do..

_I fall for you,_ He layed there in pain while she watched.

_Over and over,_ Her heart fell into 2 pieces,

_I try not to,_ never to be mended

_Over and over,_ as he took one of his last breaths, and she hers,

_Over and over,_ she grabbed his hand and kissed him softly, the last thing she would ever do.

_you don't even know you try!_ With that, they were both dead.

Again with the screaming. _These dreams will kill me,_ I thought bitterly. Someone took my hand, and for a moment I believed it was Edward. But his hands weren't like this. "Jasper?" I said to no one in particular. My eyes opened slowly, and I was correct. "Bella! Your awake! Ive been waiting for hours for you to wake up!" He was beaming. "Why am I here?" I said softly.

"Er. You uh, had a mental breakdown and tried to commit suicide and passed out from some pills you took. I found you with a knife and this note." He pulled ou the worn piece of paper I'd seen earlier. "Why?" He said softly as he could.

"Why what?" I said just as softly. " Bella why did you try to kill yourself?" The reply came from across the room."Edward!" My voice broke. Jasper stepped across the room and Edward was by my side in seconds, faster than I had thought possible. Or maybe I really was crazy. "Jasper!" He snapped. "You were supposed to wake me up! Go get Carlisle!" Jasper left angrily. "We should not be so close......." he kissed me."Carlisle came in, and Edward jumped away from me. Carlisle did the check up and sighed. Edward looked at him, anxieus. "Im sorry, Bella. But you have to go to the... other part of the hospital."Anger flased on both Edward and Jaspers faces. "No!" Edward roared. "Edward, Jasper, sit. Now listen," He continued calmly. "Edward, you are still allowed in 4 hours a day and Jasper 2 along with the normal visitors. Edward, behave." Edward was still pretty pissed off. "Edward." I said softly. "I want Edward to take me."

"Of course he can Bella. As soon as your ready." As learned from experience, I got up from the bed slowly." Bella I promise I'll never leave your door. Every damn second of those 4 hours a day Ill be there. and during regular visiting hours, because its different than my 4. I promise." He went on like that the whole way there. I looked at him. He was a mess. His bruises under his eyes were bigger, and his hair was greasy. He had tearstains on his face. He was wearing what he had on when h propesed.

"Edward, what you can do for me is simple. Go home, shower. sleep as long as possible. If you come back in those clothes and those purple bruises and those tearstains I wont have you." It was meant to soubd menacing, but it sounded pityful. "I will. Now. I have to go,hours are well over. Im so sorry Bella." He gave me the longest kiss and left. A nurse ushered me to my room. Not what I expected. And then I just collapsed.


	6. caps is back! 6 darkness

_Don't know whats going on, _Everything was dark.

_Don't know what went wrong, _This dream was like a memory.

_Fells like a hundred years, _But not one she could remember.

_I still can't believe your gone. _Only one familier face,

_So i'll stay up all night, _still beautiful in death.

_With these bloodshot eyes,_It wasn't as familier as it should be,

_While these walls surround me,_ It was unnatural.

_With the story of our lives._ It was still her Edward_,_

_I feel so much better,_ but he wasn't natural,

_Now that your gone forever,_ He was still_._

_Tell myself that I don't miss you at all._ He looked just like he did last time she saw him,

_Not lying denying that i feel so much better now,_ only his brilliant green eyes were lifeless.

_That your gone forever._ because in this dream, her beautiful Edward Cullen was dead.

She had learened better than to scream. If she was face down, it made no sound anyway. The padded room was like insulation, she slept face down most nights so wen she woke up screaming and sobbing the floor would muffle it. She hadn't woke up screaming in almost 2 days now, and Edward wasn't allowed in yet. They say I need time to adjust. Adjust. I wonder if Alice ever adjusted. When she comes in, I'll have to talk to her about it. She spent a year in a place like this when she was 13 and no one ever came and got her. Come to find out her mom had put her up for adoption the day she went in the padded dark room. Carlisle adopted her. The door creaked, and I turned toward the sound. No light spilled in.

"Isabella Marie almost-Cullen? You in there?" Edward whispered.

"Edward Anthony Mason Cullen!"I ran to the direction of his voice. "Shhhhh. I'm breaking so many rules now. You're supposed to be alone for another day. Is it still dark? the were supposed to give you some light today." He turned on the flashlight. "You don't know all the perks of this room yet, do you?" He grinned.

He launched into a wall, bouncing off and landing on his butt on the floor, popping back to his feet. "Its fun, really. Try it." But all I could see was the dream, Edward lying dead on the floor. "I'll pass." I said softly. "Are you okay? whats wrong?" I told him. About everything, starting when Jasper arrived. He paled when I told him about my most recent dream, the one with him lifeless and dead. He said it was strange about me hearing music in my sleep, but not to worry. He spent hours in there with me until his watch said it was my dinner time. "Tomorrow. I promise. All 6 available hours and maybe I can sneak 3 more. I love you." As soon as he left I fell asleep.

This dream was silent. No music to calm things.

_Edwards green eyes shone dully, and Jacob's glare was murderous. Or maybe.... happy. As Bella lay there screaming, Jacob laughed. "Bella? Don't you see? now we can be together forever!" I screamed. "You you killed Edward, Jacob. I hate you." I started sobbing. Edward rose up."I still love you!" And then he attacked me like an animal._

I woke up with the tears still streaming, still screaming. The door opened. "Bella? They said I can come in when you woke up." The nurses knew when thescreaming started loder I was awake. "S-sorry you had to hear that." I whispered, not meeting his eyes. I'm sure mine would show him how bad off I was. my hair didn't cover my face it was so ratted up. "Bella- stop thinking like that. You're not crazy. Hear me? You. Are. Not. Crazy!"

I slid closer to him, curling up so it felt like everypart of me was hidden. I could feel his hand moving slowly up and down my back, and then there was black.

**a/n i already said this, but there are no vampires, or wolves. well, not wolves _yet._ hehehe. REVIEW!**


	7. release

_No time for good byes. _I don't love you anymore.

_He said as he faded away. _He said emptily.

_Don't put your life in someones hands. _Your no good for me.

_They're bound to steal it away. _I fell out of love with you.

_And he said,_ He looked, no glared at her.

_If you want to get out alive,_ I'm not even sorry.

_oh hold on for your life,_ He said, spiked with venom.

_If you want to get out alive,_ Don't get hurt.' he said like he cared.

_Hold on for your life._ In her head, she said her good byes while her body fell to the ground.

_Later in the dream, after dream Bella crys,_

_It's hard to imagine,_ Its been months

_She said,_ Now she was over him.

_But one day you'll end up like me,_ But he was back,

_And she said,_ Tired of his games.

_If you want to get out alive,_ Before it was a lie

_oh hold on for your life,_ He missed her.

_If you want to get out alive,_ I hate you! She spat in his face.

_Hold on for your life. _I died inside for months, re-built my heart, and its not open for Edward Cullen.

And now she woke screaming, still in Edwards lap. "Are you okay? you've been shaking for hours."

"Hours? Edward, I wasted all the time." He grinned. "But I _like_ watching you sleep, remember?" I smiled. "Where'd the light come from?" He smiled again. "I have my ways." He grinned my favorite crooked grin. "What, you mean doing _that_ to people? Thats cruel and unfair." I fake pouted. "Aww the poor baby." He kissed me. "Time to eat." He looked at his watch. "They're late." I peeked at hi watch. "Very." I commented. "Lunch doesn't mean you have to leave, does it?"

Edward Point of View.

Yes. It does. "No, I'll stay." I lied. I explained to Carlisle that I help her mental state, and now I have no hours. I come and go as I please. Bella does not know yet, I'm reluctant to tell her. She might insist we leave if she can have 24 hour visitors. "Edward? What are you goning to do _this_ time?"She sounded annoyed. "I'm getting Alice. She can help you." I lied quietly. I _was _getting Alice, but I also needed to tell Carlisle about these dreams of hers. I remembered the other day, when she was in the hospital bed. Remembered what I looked like, why she sent me away. She was starting to look that was as well. "Bella, do Alice a favor. If she comes in with you like this she'll have a heart attack. You look like I did the day you sent me away." I smiled, but her mouth fell into an O oh horror as she ran to the bathroom. "Bella? I love you." I heard her muffled reply from under the door. Off to talk to Carlisle. I paased the lunch try on my way past, shocked how good it smelt. I was starved. "Carlisle?" I said as I burst into his office. "How hard would it be to get me some food?" My stomach growled in agreement. "Just a minute, Im filling out Bella's release forms." He almost snapped.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**

**NEEDS A CO-AUTHOR, AND I HAVE NO COMPUTER TO UPDATE ON FOR A WEEK OR SO!**

**]SORRY TO MY REVIEWERS! EVERYONE ELSE DONT MATTER!**


	9. The end who wants a sequel? pm me

Sweet fresh air.

Its even better with the most wonderful man in the world next to me.

"Edward, I love you."

"I know, Bella. Believe me, I know."

I'd been out for around 6 months now, and Jasper has been scarce. Her thinks its his fault.

Stupid Jasper.

He was still on a guilt trip.

For you see, my mind would never heal, and somedays I wake up with no memory of the day past.

Strangley, none of this bothers me. Maybe its Edward, or maybe its our baby girl on the way.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**_The End! _**


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